Choosing Self Perception over Public Image
This week, whilst reading the Financial Times, I was drawn to a piece by journalist Emma Jacobs, headlined ‘When will I start caring less about everything?’
I have been following Emma’s work for many years, she is an award winning journalist and has written for Financial Times for over two decades.
Emma's recent article is about the phase of mid-life, where people often experience a liberating shift in perspective, seeing external judgements move down the ‘concern’ pecking order.
Making Choices That Value Self Perception over Public Image
Whilst this article is not directly related to Trichotillomania- as I often find- the insight here resonates with those who experience hair pulling. One of the reasons our Strands newsletters and articles are often not about the Trichotillomania condition itself, but about personal growth, is that our condition is just one part of our much larger, multifaceted identity. It does not define us, and we can still make choices that move us towards a brighter future. One way to do this, which the article discusses, is by clarifying what is important to us and where do we want to put our energy and efforts, for example relationship, connections, meaningful work?
In her piece, Emma refers to making space (emotionally) to focus on the areas that improve your life. ‘Rather, by clearing away the little things — vanity, others’ judgments, petty office politicking — you can create more space for the big things.’ There are many global issues and developments that have the potential to impact our thoughts deeply, but we can also choose to prioritise our energy and emotional allocation.
The Human Contradiction
As the article points out, humans are inherently contradictory! While we may strive for personal freedom, we are also hardwired for connection (as noted by Brene Brown). For those that hair-pull, the stigma and fear of judgement and societal perceptions can often really hinder self exploration and building the right support network. Many of us experiencing this condition might tell few people about it, which can make establishing honest and trusting relationships more complex. However, letting go of concerns about others' reactions can actually serve to foster deeper connections and even inspire or encourage others to share their own personal experiences.
See: 9 reasons you should talk about your Trichotillomania
The article from the Financial Times offers a fresh perspective on personal freedom and self-acceptance, one that can be relevant for individuals with hair pulling struggles. By learning from the experiences of those who have found liberation, whether in their middle years or through other milestones in life, we can use those same tools to work towards stronger emotional prioritisation for ourselves.
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